13 Easy Steps To Developing A Magnetic Personality

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Not everyone has a magnetic personality, but it is something that anyone can develop.

A magnetic personality is so attractive!

A magnetic personality is so attractive!

Have you ever asked yourself… Why is it that some people attract a huge crowd, or following?

You know the kind. They enter the room and all of a sudden they are in the middle of a group of people.

The force of their character sees people instinctively drawn to them. For example, they:

  • communicate naturally and are more at ease with others.
  • exude a quiet self-confidence that makes them so easily approachable.
  • get plenty of business referrals.
  • inspire and fascinate others.

How do they do this? What makes them different than the Average Joe?

Do they possess some special gift, knack or ability?

Is there something about them that anyone can learn to draw people in close as well?

Absolutely! And, if you have already developed this capacity, you know and possess the ‘magic’ ingredients that many others simply do not practice. 🙂

Before we get to the answer, let’s look at what it is not:

Some people wrongly equate having a magnetic personality with leadership. While there are many leaders who have a magnetic personality, there are just as many without it. Peter Drucker clarified the difference when he said,

Leadership is not magnetic personality, that can just as well be a glib tongue. It’s not making friends and influencing people. That is flattery. Leadership is lifting a person’s vision to high sights, the raising of a person’s performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations.

Some people think that a magnetic personality means winning a popularity contest. Deepak Chopra says,

The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action. They know that love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe.

Understanding that loves never competes, but only seeks to complete, you only compete with yourself to be better.

What is that certain something that draws people to them? What is the secret to their magnetic personality?

The answer is charisma. And plenty of it. The charisma of a magnetic personality is revealed in various ways.
Anybody truly wishing to be better will take the time to learn this art and master it.

What makes a magnetic personality?

What makes a magnetic personality?

13 Easy Steps To Developing a Magnetic Personality

  1. COMMUNICATE CONSIDERATELY. Listen lovingly. Speak sincerely. Due care and consideration of others honors them by being present in the moment with them. Thich Nhat Hanh says, “When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence.” It’s easy to understand why this is so attractive, isn’t it? It’s also a clarion call to checking the spirit with which we communicate. It’s not so much what is said as HOW it is being said; that is an important factor of a pleasing personality. Everybody loves being around kind-hearted, warm-spirited people.
  2. DEEP DETERMINATION. Those with a deep sense of purpose are determined to succeed in life. They value their time too much to waste it on meaningless efforts or squander it procrastinating. (If you haven’t seen it, I encourage you to read my previous post, 7 Ways To Beat Procrastination.) People love others with a sense of purpose and direction, those who are determined to make a difference.
  3. ELICIT EXCELLENCE. It has been my experience that when you look only for the best in others, you invariably draw it out of them. I promise you, if you dig deep enough for the treasure, you’re going to find it. This is one the most important attitudes in developing a magnetic personality. Dale Carnegie once said, “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
  4. ENDLESS ENTHUSIASM. Not every day is sunny and not everyone is bubbly, but who doesn’t love being around someone who is enthusiastic? Much more can be done with enthusiasm than without. Wouldn’t you agree? Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm,” and Henry David Thoreau also made note of the fact that, “None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.
  5. HUMOR HELPS Certainly there is a time and place for everything, and, at the right time, humor has its place too. It can be an unexpected ice-breaker or stress reliever, and having a sense of humor makes one much more engaging and delightful to be with. Remember to bring your sense of decency along with you. 🙂
  6. INTENSELY INTERESTED. The most highly interesting people are those who maintain high levels of interest and curiosity in everything, but especially in others. David Schwartz, in his book, The Magic of Thinking Big, says, “Cultivate the quality of being interesting so people will get something of value from their association with you. Learn all you can in order to be all you can.” Being highly interested, especially in others, keeps you interesting to others.
  7. LISTEN LOVINGLY. Those with a magnetic personality genuinely want to hear from others and they not only give them their full attention by listening intently, but also make them feel accepted and appreciated. They’re more concerned with others situations and perspectives than they are about trying to be impressive.
  8. PERFECT PEACE. You may have noticed that people with a magnetic personality are most often calm and composed. This comes from healthy self-esteem. Their unflappability immediately puts others at ease, too. They also know the importance of minding their mind, never allowing circumstances to dictate or control their outcomes.
  9. POSITIVE PERCEPTION. Maintaining a true reflection of who you really are at the core is vital to your healthy self-esteem. Remind yourself… “I AM TRULY BEAUTIFUL!” As you age, this one thing will always be true, and that is, even though you will change, you will always BE the same beautiful you that you have always been. Know, affirm and radiate this truth about yourself.
  10. REFLECT RADIANCE. People know positive energy when they see it. They feel the glow and they bask in it. People are really attracted to anyone who presents to the world the warmth and radiance of their inner beauty. Captivate others with your big, beautiful brilliance. 🙂 Aren’t there already enough people out there raining on someone else’s parade?
  11. SELFLESS SERVANT. Those with a magnetic personality always take the concerns, interests, and viewpoints of others into consideration because they have learned the importance of being selfless. Their giving attitude asks, “What can I bring to the table?” … “What value can I add here?” … “How can I make this easier for others?” When you are sensitive to the needs of others, you are able to learn of and meet those needs. This also inspire the confidence of others.
  12. SMILE SINCERELY. A smile is simply the brilliance of your inner beauty shining through.      (Tweet this!)  When you develop this capacity by giving it away, you are signal to others that you approachable. It takes a lot fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown, so why not light up an entire room with your wonderful warmth and charisma? 🙂
  13. WHY WORRY? Don’t concern yourself with what others think about you. You cannot control what they think about you anyway, so don’t worry about making a good impression. Simply be yourself. People appreciate your honesty when you always show your true colors.

You see, it true. Anyone can apply these principles and develop a MAGNETIC PERSONALITY.

Over To You Now … Have Your Say…

Which of these principles speaks loudest to you?

Are there principles of a magnetic personality that you want to add to this list?

I love learning and want to hear from you. Please add your valuable thoughts and insights here.

Thank you kindly!

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About Bill Butler
William A. Butler is a John C.Maxwell certified coach. He loves to add value to others and aspiring to be a great humanitarian, lives by four words: BE LOVE TO OTHERS. William often goes by "Bill" and is a poet, a songwriter and has an upcoming novel.

34 thoughts on “13 Easy Steps To Developing A Magnetic Personality

  1. Hi Bill,

    It’s great to see you back with an awesome post! All 13 steps are very practical and valuable to develop a magnetic personality. Thank you for sharing.

    If I have to tell you which one I resonate with the most, it will be 13th one. Why to worry anyway? It is very hard to do but I work intentionally to practice it when there is such a worrisome situation.

    Have a great day!


    • Hi Kumar,
      Thanks for your input. With practice, these principles help us to be consciously aware of how we communicate and connect with others.
      I’ve always said, “Worry is the price you pay for something that is never going to happen.” It’s a waste of time and energy.

      Have a great day and week ahead!

  2. Hi Bill,

    I love all 13 principals. But to pick just one that resonates with me the most, I would have to say it is number 11 – being a Selfless Servant. Being sensitive of the needs of others is the most important thing to me. If I can only help but one person build their confidence, or bring something to the table for them, I’ve done my job as a human being.

    I think it comes from my Christian values because that is something deeply engrained in me. That “Do unto others” has always been a part of me since I was a child. I could ramble on scripture here, but you understand where I’m coming from!

    When we truly care for others, and expect nothing in return, our lives are full!


    • Hi Donna,
      I agree with you exactly as you’ve expressed it about sensitivity to other’s needs. I think this is also an important factor in being a great humanitarian. Yes, I understand the value of your upbringing and where you’re coming from. It’s definitely important! 🙂

      Thank you so much for sharing! Have a wonderful week!

  3. Mary Stephenson says:

    Hi Bill

    # 12 does it for me. You can draw me in with a honest sincere smile. It portraits acceptance of the other person. After learning about the muscles used for real and fake smiles from my human emotion class, I think it will be easier to spot the real ones. Some people smile but you are left wondering if they mean it or are they just pretending to mean it.

    I know I have been around a few people that just are totally magnetic. Most people are not quite that way, they can be a bit and around certain people or situations, but not all to everyone.

    We could definitely all strive to be more magnetic.


    • Hi Mary,
      I love how the power of a smile has the ability to put us at ease, communicates warmth, approachability, and as you’ve stated, conveys acceptance of the other person, which is so important.

      You’re right, many people possess some of these qualities, and others not mentioned here. There are many people I resonate with that certainly don’t have all of these qualities, but they offer themselves in their own unique ways.

      I think a half-smile can reveal feigned sincerity, but it may just be that the person may feel embarrassed to fully smile.

      Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts here.

      Have a beautiful week!

  4. Hi Bill,

    Excellent post again. I know I think I start all my comments with this phrase, but that’s what your posts inspire me to say.

    I don’t think you’ve forgotten a single thing about what makes a person attractive to people. Being soft spoken, a good listener, entertaining, happy, easy to talk to, and more… are all good qualities that attract people.

    On the other hand, people who like to hear themselves talk, condescending, judgmental and selfish in nature would have the opposite effect on people.

    So, all in all it’s not that hard to get the point and just do it already, right?

    have a great week!

    • Hi Sylviane,
      Thank you for your encouragement and thoughts. You bring up an important point which I did not cover off in the post, and that is that the human ego, the false self, which seeks so much attention, definitely has no place in a magnetic personality. A magnetic personality is quite the opposite. It’s about hearing from others, engaging with them, wanting to know what they’re about, and taking a genuine interest in them. I think that’s part of the attraction. Have a great week too!

      Kind Regards,

  5. Hi Bill,

    Actually all of these resonate with me. I know people who have magnetic personalities and it all comes so natural to them and as you have described these traits, I see each of these in the people who I consider magnetic.

    Being in a large line dance community there are certain people who draw people to them naturally and regularly. I find myself drawn to certain types as well. I have people who are drawn to me for various reasons – my honesty, positivity, giving nature. Or at least that’s what I’ve been told. 🙂 These can be added as well. I guess the different traits draws certain people to us based on need or at least that’s what I think.

    A great read.
    Barbara Charles recently posted…Six Ideas to Infuse A Call to Action in Your Next PostMy Profile

    • Hi Barbara,
      I agree with you. We resonate with people according to various traits they have. Usually the attraction is in that we see something in them that we wish to develop in ourselves. And that’s what makes us all uniquely valuable to one another. We all have something to contribute. I know that not everyone has a magnetic personality, but it is something to aspire to. It sure beats being an old grumpy sourpuss. 🙂

      My wife is an excellent line dancer, but I’ll be honest, she’s been getting out of line lately. 😉 Sure keeps life interesting!

      Have an awesome week!

  6. Hello Mr. Bill and welcome back.
    I hope you had a wonderful vacation.

    Excellent article as always.
    The content of your article should always make us re-think and re-evaluate where we are.

    I love all the 13 principles, but there are some that just stand out a little more.

    #2 Deep Determination…. Pressing on no matter what. Determined to reach my destiny

    #7 Listen Lovingly… Being active in the conversation and letting the other people know you care and you give them all of your attention.

    #11 Selfless Servant… To serve others out of love. We are here to servant one another.

    Thank you for helping us look deeper into who we are.


    • Hello Gladys,
      I am grateful for the time off. Unfortunately I got sick shortly into it and didn’t accomplish much.
      Thank you so much for sharing what speaks to your heart on this topic. As I think more about this, there are more traits that could be added, such as deep devotion or practical patience. You’re very welcome Gladys. Reflection usually leads to growth, doesn’t it?

      Warm Regards,

  7. It seems so complex!

    I am an introvert (well, it depends. I prefer not socializing with others, but once I do start it – or once someone else encourages me to get into the group, I find myself enjoying socializing. So, the best thing I can say is I am sort of middle – Intro and extro :D).

    Anyways, magnetic personality…oh, yeah I want to improve that.

    I think I have made progress..at least that’s what others have told me (I am judging this based on the presentations I make in class – people have told me that my presentations were great. I think it’s all because of blogging…blogging has helped me to improve my communication skills, to work with others. Granted, sometimes I do get caught up in my own life, talking about my own challenges, like right now!).

    Anyways, thank you for these awesome tips, Bill 🙂 I do appreciate them – especially, loved the quotes! Thank you. Hope you are enjoying your week!
    Jeevan Jacob John recently posted…Psst, what’s in your first newsletter email?My Profile

    • Hello Jeevan,
      I would never sell an introvert short. They, too, have much to offer. First, they create balance for the extroverts out there. 🙂
      Many quiet people have many special skills, and sometimes it’s because they specialize in a certain area that they are quiet.

      By being more social, as I have observed you being on various sites, certainly lends to developing your social skills. I also appreciate you and where you are at. Take heart! We were all new once. 😉

      You’re so very welcome Jeevan. May these principles serve you well. Thank you for your kind regards!


  8. Baffour Ofori-Atta Kena says:

    Excellent Post from Bill. Folks if you have in any way interacted with Bill before you would
    know that he walks his talk. Uncle Bill, thanks for sharing.

  9. Hey Bill,

    You laid out all the reasons why I would be attracted to people like this. I always wondered how some could walk into a room and just draw attention from everyone. Now I see the same reasons why i’m attracted to these people are the same reasons everyone else is.

    All of the tips you mentioned resonate with me. Some I’m really strong in, while others I will definitely need to work on. But this list gives me something I can reference to in order to see how I can improve. Thanks for sharing this valuable post!

    • Hey Sherman,

      Some of what you observe in people with a magnetic personality may come naturally to some, but many are those who have studied, learned to emulate the qualities of others and polished their own personality.

      As Samuel Johnson once said, “Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” I think there is no greater undertaking than to develop ourselves. 🙂 Persist in all the areas you see that need improvement, and you will become that person you admire.

      You’re very welcome. Thank you for contributing. Have a great weekend!

  10. Hi Bill.

    How are you? Thanks so much for this Bill! I’m helping with the youth at our local church and this is good material to use, especially for the senior high school ones. This will definitely become part of my list.

    Thanks once more and God bless.


    • Hi Sylvia-Marie,
      I’m well, thank you! How are you doing lately? I trust you are well. 🙂
      You are most welcome! I’m glad you’ll be able to use the information to benefit and bless others. 🙂
      Thank you for taking time to write.


  11. Wonderful principals every single one! But I think the one that stands out is learning to listen and actually be interested in what other folks have to say. Everyone wants to be heard… it’s how you really get a sense of either a customer’s desires, or the really ascertain a need in a friend’s heart.
    Jacqueline Gum (Jacquie) recently posted…Communication…Where’s The Justice?My Profile

    • Hi Jacquie,
      Thanks for sharing the value you derived from this. I agree with you. The gifts of attention and presence really communicate your value of others.
      People can tell when you are genuinely interested in them, especially when you discern their needs.

      Kind Regards,

  12. Of the 13 points you’ve mentioned, being intensely interested in someone is one I identify with quite a bit. Highly interesting people are, as you said, curious about everything and everyone. It is a two way street; by being highly interested keeps you just as interesting to others. The other one is really listening with care. When we genuinely listen with our full attention it is such a gift because it makes others feel accepted and appreciated. There are others that resonate with me as well but those are the ones that stood out to me. 🙂
    Susan Cooper recently posted…Homemade Buttermilk Pancakes: #RecipeMy Profile

    • Hi Susan,
      You are spot on with your comments and I resonate with what you’ve said.
      It’s easy to discern when all the person is about is serving, adding value and are genuinely interested in others.

      All the best!

  13. Hi Bill, fully agree that all 13 are helpful. Top of my list is endless enthusiasm. It is as contagious as laughter !
    Paul Graham recently posted…I Just Bought A DressMy Profile

    • Hi Paul,
      Ah, laughter is a beautiful thing, especially spontaneous uncontrollable bursts that refuse to be held in.
      I’ve also read about the health benefits of enthusiasm as they relate to one’s heart, which makes enthusiasm a very powerful choice.

      Have a great day and upcoming weekend!

  14. I can say I seriously do not favor one of the thirteen characteristics of developing a magnetic personality over another. I am attracted most to having a sense of humor and being positive, though! All good ones!
    Laurie Hurley recently posted…Why Business References Are So YesterdayMy Profile

    • Hi Laurie,
      I think the old adage that “Laughter is the best medicine” still holds true. Being happy and aiming for positive outcomes is much more attractive and makes for a great offset to the negativity we encounter. Have a great day ahead and a beautiful weekend!


  15. This is a tough one. I really like the list and think it works as a collective attitude/activity. If I had to, I might choose communicate considerately.
    Debra Yearwood recently posted…Is Music Mind Food?My Profile

    • Hi Debra,
      I think that when we focus our energy and emotions into what we believe in, we display such charisma, but for all people, it is displayed at various levels and at various times. With consistent practice, a magnetic personality is possible for anyone. Have a great week!

  16. I’d pick communicate considerately — so important to listen, really listed, to someone and be sincere in what you say. They flow into another one of your points which is to being intensely interested. You need to listen carefully if you want to be honestly intensely interested.
    Jeannette Paladino recently posted…Inc. 500 Increase Use of Pinterest and Instagram to Tell StoriesMy Profile

    • Welcome Jeannette,
      As you know, it’s most often how something is said over what is said that has the greatest effect, so communicating considerately certainly is an important aspect of a magnetic personality. I think one of the greatest gifts we can offer others is the gift of presence, being in the moment, offering our undivided attention, and appreciating them. Thank you for contributing your thoughts.

      Kind Regards,

  17. Harrison jnr says:

    Am so happy reading your motivational word to know the 13 easy steps to develop a magnetic personality. Am so plead with this 13 powerful and motivated word. I’ll be so happy to be having your lastest write up to my inbox. Thank you very much for being a blessing to me and now i know how to develop a magnetic personality to know the ingredient involved in it… From harry jnr from nigeria.

    • Greetings Harrison, and welcome!
      Nice to have you happen along here. Or should I say “drawn here” like a magnet? 😉
      I will be glad to add future value to you, and happy for you to subscribe to my writing.


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